i just needed to get this off my chest

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by the meme lord, Jun 25, 2018.

  1. the meme lord

    the meme lord New Member

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    i didn't know where else to put this, but i put it here because i feel like i can be myself with all of you

    most if not all of you are aware of the untimely passing of xxxtentacion just last week. i guess i just dont know how to deal with it. i feel frustrated, i feel angry, i feel sad, and yet i dont know how to feel most of the time. its hard to explain to say the least

    some of you reading this have probably wanted to click off by now because you know about x's controversial past and cant imagine someone be sad over him. in this case, i'd like to clear some things up
    1) x has admitted to all the crimes he has done, and is completely open and honest about them (as seen in the No Jumper interview)
    2) he has completely changed his life, even after his intensely difficult childhood and life of drugs and crime
    3) he does what he can with the millions he's earned to donate to children in need and donate to charities - he was planning on starting an organization called "A Helping Hand Foundation" very, very soon and it's sad that he can't fulfill his dream
    4) he preaches positivity and peacefulness/purity of the soul and is always telling people how to motivate themselves (as seen in his instagram live livestreams)

    before this next part, i would like to say that yes, i am only 15, and yes, i don't understand a lot of things in this world, but as x said in the"Instructions"to his most recent album"?",

    "It's something you can find comfort in, it's very comforting, but discomforting at the same time."

    i usually seem to be the "backup friend" with most of my friends and usually have to worry about including myself into conversations in order to stay somewhat social. i could almost relate to a lot of the dark things that x sang about in his studio albums and the pain that he felt while having fake friends and being ignored. just like he said, comforting and discomforting at the same time. please mind i wouldn't call myself depressed - just unstable

    this is yet another reason i respect this bb community because i can be myself and not be looked down upon by others.

    tl;dr - i needed to just vent/get this off my chest and frankly i trust close to nobody with my emotions. im grateful to have been a part of this community for the past 2 years and didn't know a better way to express it.

    the past few days ive barely spoken to people and plan on keeping it up until i figure out how to deal with this, so if you've noticed my name changes (in honor of x) and less, i guess you could say happy, appearance, this is why

    thanks for your time, i appreciate it
     
    Jr6150 and NeverReady like this.
  2. Kaiden

    Kaiden Administrator Community Manager

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    I'd never heard of him, but no one seems to really be discussing the main issue of people being gunned down on a daily basis in America, need reforms to avoid future killings.