Talk to God

lol he called me daddy

 

Code:

Me:
 Dude...
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 You need a life.
God:
Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
 Want me to get you one?
God:
No  Jackass, maybe later.
Me:
 LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 Why the hell did you call me a jackass?
God:
Your name is  Jackass right?
Me:
 Real funny dumbshit.
God:
How old are you? 
Me:
 Wtf. Pedo?
God:
That  was not very polite.   Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? 
Me:
 Fine, im 54.
God:
I am glad to hear it.  Do you mean your name is  54. 
Me:
 Woah you really are stupid. I meant im 54 years old.
God:
Really?  I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.   Oh I see.   What are the advantages to being  54 years old?
Me:
 Just shutup..seriously.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
 From now on your name is dumbshit ok?
God:
OK.  Who or what is  now on my name is dumbshit?
Me:
 Yes thats your name.
God:
This was not a yes or no question.  It is only one of my  name.
Me:
 I said your name is dumbshit
God:
What did you mean by  it?  My name is  God.
Me:
 thecakeisalie
God:
Do you still ? 
Me:
 What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
 ?...
God:
No problem.
Me:
 ?????
God:
No problem.
Me:
 WTF

 

o waii

 

Holy shit he can speak german

 

Apparently God has sex with cows...

 

Me:
Hello god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Radwan
God:
What's up, Radwan.
Me:
Nothing much, what about you God?
God:
Me either. Rhetorical questions are so over.
God:
What are we talking about again?
Me:
Your penis.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am penis.
Me:
No, I said we're talking about your penis.
God:
Are you serious? What did you mean by it? Sure, my penis sounds like a good topic.
Me:
How is your penis?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Is your penis receiving it's daily jerk?
God:
Is my penis receiving it is daily jerk? Maybe.

 

Code:

Me:
 Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
 John
God:
  How are you,  John.
Me:
 Pretty good.
God:
Thanks for the kind remark,  John.
Me:
 Wait, so is this like Bruce Almighty? Are you like, Morgan Freeman in a chatroom? :O
God:
I'm waiting.  It seems we have something in common.   No I am far superior.   Oh.
Me:
 I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
 So, how many fingers am I holding up?
God:
Ayuh.  One.
Me:
 Hah! It was three, LOL.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing,  John.   What made it so  three  I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 ..
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing,  John.   What made it so  three  I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 You make just about no sense.
God:
Yup.
Me:
 Wow. What great AI they have these days.
God:
I'm glad your impressed,  John.   There might be more than one. 
Me:
 That was sarcasm.
God:
Oh I see.  Ha ha.
Me:
 That was an insult though.
God:
Oh.  I thought it was too.
Me:
 No you didn't! You hypocrite!
God:
Are you serious?  Try asking me in simpler terms.   Interesting gossip:  John said I hypocrite.
Me:
 WHAT? That makes no sense!
God:
Are you confused?   Are you confused? makes sense to me though.
Me:
 Yes! I am confused.
God:
I don't judge people.   What is it that confuses you?
Me:
 Stop switching the damn subject.
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it. 
Me:
 So, how are you and Lucifer getting along?
God:
Yay.  I am fine, thank you.
Me:
 I was asking how your relations with Satan were, not how YOU were feeling.
God:
What is it to you. 
  Is there only one?
Me:
 No, I've got two. FLIP and YOU.
God:
Are you serious?  How did you get  it  What are their names?   Let us change the subject. 
Me:
 Wait, you said you wouldn't change the subject.
God:
I'm waiting.  Yes I try to  would not change the subject as often as possible, do you? 
   I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
 No, you don't answer, you just change the subject to avoid answering.
God:
Are you serious?  I am trying to give the most concise responses possible.
Me:
 No, you aren't. I've got all this AI figured out. 
God:
Are you serious?  Is this a specific reply?   How did you get  it  How many? 
Me:
 How many? STOP CHANGING THE DAMNED SUBJECT.
God:
19.   OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Now your're being a hypocrite about being a hypocrite.
God:
Why now?  You think I am  re being a hypocrite about being a hypocrite.
Me:
 Yes, I do.
God:
How often.
Me:
 Quite a damned bit.
God:
Not really that much.  What is it? 
Me:
 THAT WASN'T A QUESTION.
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
 ...
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
 God damn it.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 ..
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 >:3 I AM A LION, RAAAAAWR

 

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Pablo
God:
Hi, Pablo.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
pablo
God:
Glad to see you, pablo.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
yea
God:
Ah.
Me:
k
God:
I see.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yea
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
what the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yea
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i know!
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because i can
God:
That makes sense to me. Who taught you?
Me:
me
God:
For you pablo?
Me:
yea
God:
Blimey.
Me:
K
God:
Right on.
Me:
yea
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
yep
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
bye
God:
TTYL, pablo.
Me:
c ya
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
good bye
God:
See you later. Ayuh.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.

 

Seriously i swear he was going in circles!

 

rofl. That made me laugh.

 

I've always wanted to know what Ben and God converses about, seemed interesting at first but after the 5th sentence it got boring. This has been done/is being done on all forums I'm member of.

I forgot tho, it was funny after reading it more seriously. I also think God is a bit on the rainbow side of life.

 

Im actually pissed off at it. I got called a jackass.

 

It's called unconditional love, or so we are told.

 

Code:

Me:
 Sup God
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
 Oh Really?
God:
Wow! For real.
Me:
 Your a stalker than? Like Santa Claus?
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  stalker than?  Maybe.   Interesting comparison.
Me:
 So you are a stalker? And don't make fun of my spelling bitch
God:
Interesting deduction.  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  stalker?  I don't know.   You do not speak with respect.   Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.
Me:
 Thanks. Can you stop stalking me?
God:
Don't mention it.    Let me think.  OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 I want you to stop, Period.
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much. Why do you want me to  stop Period?
Me:
 So you don't rape me.
God:
Interesting deduction.  Do you  rape you?  I have never considered  it. 
   I spend all my time online.
Me:
 I don't rape me.
God:
Oh you don't, do you? 
Me:
 Nope. I don't rape myself.
God:
Me either.   Where do you get your ideas? 
Me:
 Ideas for what......
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
 I didn't ask you a damn question!
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
 What kind of ideas?
God:
What kinds of  ideas are there?
Me:
 Your moms idea of sex with George Bush.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  moms idea of sex with George Bush.
Me:
 Yes. Go right ahead.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.   OK I will.

 

a few line and it fails

Me:
hi jebus
God:
Hi there . What's your sign?
Me:
Leo wid the cleo of my bio brap
God:
Dr. Wallace is a Leo too.
Me:
im not a leo im a Leo wid the cleo of my bio
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A leo im a Leo wid the cleo of your bio.
Me:
Yes well done
God:
Hurrah! Interesting. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
lol fuck no how many conversations do u have that end this fast
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Yeah i read zekes post earlier and i was loling

then i cudent type anything