FML

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Dan, Oct 7, 2009.

  1. Dan

    Dan Active Member

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    I overslept through my 8AM math test...
     
  2. angry biker

    angry biker Detective

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  3. Whitefang

    Whitefang ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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  4. Teddi

    Teddi Well-Known Member Bear

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    Nasty.
     
  5. The Jerry

    The Jerry Active Member

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    Alright Dan, Stay Calm. I'm here for you bro, this is my gift to you for giving me a radio 2 years ago.

    1. Have someone (preferably a close friend) punch you in the ribs, then the face. Have him dip the heel and tip of his shoe in mud then kick (so it doesn't hurt) you lightly in the side, you /must/ be wearing a light colored shirt for best effect.

    2. Take your least favorite wallet (or purse) and rip open the flap that holds the money. Bend your ID card, and any other cards. Now take your wallet and set it on the ground, have your friend walk through some dirt. Step on the inside flap of your wallet. Take any credit cards you usually carry in your wallet and hide them off campus or even if your more dedicated, bend them up and leave them lying about on your "Muggers" selected path of escape.

    3. Remember you are the witness and the victim. It was dark, you couldn't see his face, he was wearing a hoodie, he seemed nervous and sloppy, and his hands were cold. This means he is a first time mugger. The police will recognize this as a common trait for a gang initiation, and the pressure will be off you because the shoes your friend was wearing /DO NOT FIT HIM OR YOU/ and are from the goodwill.

    4. Come to class in the morning all banged up, shaken and bruised, and the first thing you will say is "Did I miss the test?". You will then fall painfully to the ground. They will if they care rush to your side.

    Optional Luxuries of the Operation:
    -If you have a backpack or books, rip pages out and tear sections of the backpack.
    -If you have glasses, crush them, or severely crack or scratch the lense.
    -Tell them your friend was there to fight them off (NOTE: It would be best to drag him in the class with you carrying you)
     
  6. Whitefang

    Whitefang ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    :D
     
  7. The Jerry

    The Jerry Active Member

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    Another Optionional: Take some form of Painkillers or preferably sleeping medication, make you seem drowsy. Risk is though, they might do a urine test to see if your kidneys took any damage in the kicking. So this is /really/ up to you.

    ---------- Post added at 04:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:38 PM ----------

    [NOTE]: If you do the above, you'll need to explain why you took the the meds if they take a urine test (that is if they even ask).
     
  8. Whitefang

    Whitefang ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    Because I had pain.
     
  9. The Jerry

    The Jerry Active Member

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    Yes but /why/ would he take sleeping medication the night before a test! This is what Dan must answer, but then again its just an optional.
     
  10. Whitefang

    Whitefang ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    Because he couldn't sleep!
     
  11. Pot Ducky

    Pot Ducky Hurf Durf,

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    ITS PERFUCT

    One problem.

    At 7-8am it isnt dark
     
  12. angry biker

    angry biker Detective

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    say you got shot in the head and you died, then if they ask you why your alive just say you got better ;D


    Its fool proof
     
  13. The Jerry

    The Jerry Active Member

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    You would know Mr. Manatee Detective
     
  14. Zeke

    Zeke [BB] Sub Admin Sub Admin

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    Forge your own copy of the test with stolen answers!@!!!!111!!!!!!!1111111!
     
  15. King Cole

    King Cole Active Member

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    Brilliant :evil:

    ---------- Post added at 11:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:14 PM ----------

    Thats just wonderful, except for the 20 other students that got "mugged" too.
     
  16. Mr. Sandvich

    Mr. Sandvich New Member

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    Brilliant, just brilliant. Tis' too epic to speak of anymore.
     
  17. The Jerry

    The Jerry Active Member

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    I'm Lacking confirmation on whether my tutorial was of any assistance to said King of Kings, The Pope of the Church of Dan, Daniel Himself!
     
  18. King Cole

    King Cole Active Member

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    No no no no no, you are sadly mistaken. You may be the Pope of the Church of Dan (mugging tutorials and all) but I am the previously stated King of Kings